Sunday, 9 May 2010


Waddism isn't a religion, though I suppose because it is universal it is a sort of religion. It is the belief in fallibility, much the same I suppose that Christianity sees everyone as a sinner. The difference is subtle, but Waddism doesn't see everyone as a sinner, because that implies choice. Waddism sees people more as massive screwups. There is no universal redemption in Waddism, because everything is a question of degree. If you are a screwup and don't do anything about it, pretty much you will be dealt with by nature through a brutal selection which will weed you out. However, one of the basic tenets of Waddism is that in life, there are two types of people who rise to the top: cream, and pond scum. Now, of course one hopes that the baddies get their come-uppance in the end, that they will end up in a bunker shooting themselves or being hung upside down in some square with their mistress and their eyes gouged out (see Hitler and Mussolini). However, it appears sometimes that justice, though retributive, is as random as everything else in life. For every lawyer who strikes a blow for justice, truth and redemption, there is some Johhny Cochran type who coins a slogan and gets his scummy client off scot free.

If there is a patron saint for Waddism, it is St. Jude Not Iscariot, as he was subsequently referred to (also known as St. Thaddeus), who eventually was martyred. Imagine having to have your name continuously qualified (like I am Paris, Not Hilton, for instance).

Anyway, St. Jude is the patron saint for lost causes.

Perfect, because one of the central tenets of Waddism is that we are all beset by lost causes. Life is a lost cause.

Franz Kafka, who knew a thing or two about futility, said that life is a series of small scale victories and large scale defeats.

Now, is Waddism negative, if this is the sort of claptrap it espouses?

No, I don't think so. It merely asks the question of yourself and others: How much of a screwup am I or the next person, and what can I do about this?

It is sort of empathy in reverse. You don't seek to understand if and why the other person is acting like a butthead (the guy who pushes past you when you are trying to get off the Tube, the boss who utters plain self-serving nonsense bereft of logic), you just assume it beforehand, and try to deal with it.

Take a look at yourself and try to minimise the Wadhead-ness in yourself, and assume it in others without being negative.  Don't let it get you down, but don't pretend that just because you sign off on some it-makes-me-feel-better belief system this will change much about others.

A good friend of mine once said: I am sick of going deep-sea diving for good; if it is not on the surface I am not interested.

Waddism is about realising that the good might lie just below the surface, just as below the surface of what appears to be good may lurk some very nasty stuff indeed.

So don't be disappointed by yourself or others. Espouse forgiveness, but mete it out carefully.

We are all, in one way or another, lost causes.

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