WHAT THEY MEAN TO SAY: Coded English

So much of English...I mean the real English spoken in England, is delivered in code. The language is a very subtle dance using coded signals that may mean precisely the opposite of what they seem. The typical British person wants, at all costs, to avoid controversy, confrontation, or commentary, at least in person face to face. In groups, this subtlety is dropped and a pack-of-hyenas mentality takes over as hapless prey is ripped to bits (not surprising from the country that brought you Prime Minister's Question Time in Parliament or Lord of the Flies). I am also not talking about the media, for the media is the most open, clever and vicious in the world, and can get away with the most amazingly scurrilous headlines or commentary which in most places would be considered libelous. This in spite of the fact that the UK is the libel capital of the universe. Nor am I talking about the hooligan element. They are just as in-your-face as your basic gangsta rapper.


I am talking about the way sentences are constructed in person, face to face, mano a mano. Have no idea what this means? Humour me.


Let's start with some prefaces to sentences which one hears daily.


With the greatest of respect...
I hear what you're saying...
At the end of the day....
To be fair....
Without putting too fine a point on it...
I think we can agree....


I think we can agree that all of these starts to sentences are no more than preparatory jabs designed to soften up the belly before delivering body shots which are in fact the opposite to what they sound like they mean. The real meaning of these are hidden in the subtext, and woe betide the gullible foreigner who takes them at face value.


Herewith a primer:


WHAT THEY SAY
WHAT THEY MEAN



With the greatest of respect…
I have little or no respect for you (ie. you're shite and you know you are)



I hear what you're saying...
I have no idea what you are saying and in any case it matters not a whit since I am right



At the end of the day…
A meaningless phrase, having nothing to with the day, or indeed the end of it. Used as filler.



To be fair....
This is my opinion, and fairness has nothing whatsoever to do with it. Also used a filler



Without putting too fine a point on it...
There is no point, even down to a nanometer, fine enough to underline how I am right and you are wrong, or otherwise put, you're shite and you know you are



I think we can agree....
I think I can agree, what you think doesn't enter into it, and anyway, you're shite and you know you are



The Japanese are well known for sucking their teeth, nodding their head, saying Yes, and meaning Yes, that question is difficult....Yes, I heard you and may or may not do what you want or have asked me, when they really mean: you're shite and you know you are. The English are the same. It is just a different form of subtlety.


We are all human, after all.